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What life skill is better than any other? 675_0_valentine-day-heart-candy-and--valentine-day-heart

On this Valentines Day, I hope to convince you that if you embody these 5 Skills for Mastering Self-Love – the rest of your life will surely fall into place. 

Unfortunately, with a 50 percent divorce rate, it is too easy to feel lost and lonely. 

But what if your true love could never leave you?

What if you could find that special love that would never betray you, abandon you, or lie to you? How would that feel?

The truth is, best case scenario, when you first fall in love with someone, the neurotransmitters (brain chemicals) that fuel that love, can only last about six months to a year

After that, they die out, and too often, so does the love. Heartache, and loss can follow.

But what if you could learn how to create long-lasting love? The type of love that didn’t die when the neurotransmitter dies out?

You see, if you are able to create a bond with you and your beloved, in a manner that produces oxytocin, there is a better chance for long-term love. 

However, you need much more for a relationship to last decades. Oxy is supportive, but is is simply not enough!

I have been married more than 30 years. And, over all those years, I have learned that even if you get your “oxy hit”, and the relationship lasts longer than a year, there can still be major challenges.

 That is, unless, you have found, the ability to love yourself!

Not just speak of self-love, but really actively love yourself when you feel as if you are bad, made a mistake, or have been abandoned, attacked, or betrayed.

Watch this video and follow the 5 Skills for Mastering Self Love outlined below. 

And if you need extra support, I am offering a special on my online Secret Code-Self-Mastery Class where you can take these skills to the next level. (Click here to learn more!)



1. Self-Identify as Your True Self (Core Being)

Within you, is a bigger spiritual wholeness, that some people call their higher self. This wholeness is your true self (Core Being).

The first skill for you to master self-love is to develop the ability to “be present” with your Core Being, and claim him/her as your true identity when life is difficult or when you feel as if there is no hope.

Because, the truth is, you are so much more than you can imagine yourself to be. So learn to self-identify as that bigger true self, and let your inner wholeness become the CEO in charge of your life.

In my private practice, clients come in and discuss the concept of “spiritual wholeness.” Most everyone can believe their loved ones, and friends are spiritually whole. Yet, when I ask them to self-identify as this wholeness, they often find it difficult.

For instance, most clients can name 5 traits they don’t like about themselves, but when I ask them to find 3 qualities of their Core Being, it is usually very difficult for them.

Skill 1 asks you to take the time, and make it a top priority to discover who you really are, and then self-identify as your Core Being – and not your wounded, still awakening human parts.

This way, when you need self-love, your inner Core Being can send love and kindness to the parts of you that are feeling pain, stress and overwhelm. 

In addition, by self-identifying as your Core Being, you can rely on ever lasting loving comfort that will bring you the inner sight and wisdom to change.

Then, from this wisdom, you can grow, and learn the lessons from the difficulty, and therefore – be more empowered to better create your life.


2. Learn to Feel Your True Self as A Sensation, Thought and Emotion in the Body.

Once you know who you are, and can self-identify as your higher self or Core Being, the next step is for you to learn how to actually feel your Core Being as a concept in the mind, an emotion of bliss, and as a sensation of a tingle and flow of energy in the body.

When  you are able to master this skill, you can actually initiate the release of oxytocin in your brain and foster deep love and bonding between your “human” self and your true, Core Being higher self.


3. Learn to Talk To Yourself in the 3rd Person.

According to a recent study in Psychology Today, your ability to speak to yourself in the 3rd person results in reducing stress and promots more joy and success.

Specifically, in Skill 3, you will learn how to have your Core Being, and speak kindly to your human self during difficult times. To really gain traction on this skill, you must begin to practice this mindfulness practice once a day, when life isn’t so stressful.

This way, when life is hard, and when you make a mistake, feel bad or when someone else hurts you, you will have cultivated this skill sufficiently, so you can self-sooth, and provide yourself with supportive wisdom and self-love.


4. Take In the Good and Review Your Lessons For the Day.

Before you go to bed at night, I recommend you do a review of the day and assess all the good things that happened that day.  Including all the great accomplishments you made, even the small ones.

Studies show that people under-estimate the joy they receive from even small accomplishments.  I suggest you feel these accomplishments as an emotion of joy, and as a pleasurable sensation in the body. By doing this, you will foster a positive mind, body, spirit connection.

Then, after you have taken in the good – from your kind, loving Core Being – take time to also assess what lessons can be learned from the day.

Make sure you don’t assess your day’s challenges from your negative ego because that could foster self-hate and self-identification with your wounded parts.

Also don’t avoid assessing your day’s challenges because that too feeds the negative ego.

As you assess where you could have been more skillful, and as you do this from your Core Being, you foster self-love and self-awareness.

Lastly, after you have completed the self-assessment, practice sending love to the part of you that didn’t show up as aligned as you could have.

Again, it is very important you begin practicing this mindfulness skill when life isn’t so stressful. 

This way, you will develop the ability to program into your mind, energy and body systems this transformation skill very strongly. 

And, when life becomes hard, you will be able to do this advanced practice with much more kindness, acuity and self-love.


5. Learn to Receive, Give to Others, and Give To Self, When You’d Rather Receive From Another.

I teach 3 Skills of Adult Consciousness. These skills are:

  • Knowing how to receive support from others
  • Give support to others
  • Give love and support to yourself – especially when  you would rather receive from someone else.

Over the past 20 years of working with clients, I discovered that students who were not able to embody these skills, found self-love very difficult.  For instance, they were more likely to bully themselves and to have their negative ego and negative self-talk take control over them.

Yet, as they mastered these 3 Skills of Adult Consciousness, they also mastered self-love much quicker.

Most people are able to give to others.  What they find very difficult, is to give to themselves when they’d rather receive from another. 

In this 5th skill, practice giving love to yourself – especially when you want it from someone else!



Take the time to implement all 5 skills during your day. Over the years, I have found, students that practice all 5 of these skills every day, within 90 days, self-love will fill you up and fuel you forward.

In this manner, self-love can be the power that helps you create your best love, relationship, health and wealth!

 And, if you need extra support, I am offering a special on my online Secret Code-Self-Mastery Class where you can take these skills to the next level and receive individualized discounted support from me! (Click here to learn more about the bonus package – offer ends soon!)

Lastly, in the comment section below, if so moved, state that you commit to being kind to your human and help others do the same!

Sending love and blessing along your way,


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